For years, I've been slowly building up a head of steam against Tom and Ray Magliozzi, the so called "Tappet Brothers" of NPR's radio show, Car Talk. Stand back, because I'm about to blow!

Tom and Ray Magliozzi, of NPR's Car Talk radio show are the darkest spot on the scene of automotive entertainment and journalism. They are the premier spokesmen of the left wing on the subject of cars in America. If you've never had the distinct displeasure of encountering this inane pair, you can hear them on weekend mornings, when their show airs. The basic format consists of Tom and Ray fielding calls from listeners who have car questions, problems and issues. The Tappet Brothers then opine on the probable cause and likely fixes for the problem. Good enough, as far as it goes. But along the way, these two idiots dispense their pearls of wisdom in the form of opinions about cars and car culture in America. And their opinions are uniformly those of the left wing car-haters who find automoblies to be basically evil.

Tom and Ray are allegedly a couple of guys who used to own a garage/car-repair shop who have been slowly elevated to near the top of America's left wing spokemen about automobiles (the top spot has to be reserved for Ralph Nader, since he began his career by destroying the wonderful Chevrolet Corvair). As far as their technical expertise, I can't quibble: They know their stuff and usually get to the heart of the problems their listeners bring to them with impressive speed (one wonders whether there's a staff of mechanics developing answers for them behind the scenes, though). The problem is Tom and Ray's sneering contempt for anything approaching a performance automobile. (They also share my distaste for SUVs, which is one good reason for me to change my opinion -- but I won't). They also feed the limosine liberal left's continuing hatred for American-made cars, constantly using the names of the Big Three as if they were curse words.

Think I'm overstating the case? Check this out: At their website, Tom Magliozzi has a rant occasioned by his test drive of the BMW M roadster, titled Enough is Enough. His point? The car has too much power! Tom goes on to actually call for government regulation of power-to-weight ratios. I'm not kidding. Check it out. This horror is a perfect revelation of the mind-set of America's left wing: They know what's good for us and they mean to make laws to shove it down our throats. (Of course, that's also the problem with America's right wing, too -- they just have a different set of things they want to force me to do or not do for my own good.) It's difficult to summon words strong enough to portray the nightmare of Tom and Ray's sneering, cackling visages casting their tastes into law. If it was up to them, we'd all be driving underpowered, foam-wrapped four-bangers. How can people like this sleep at night? The thought of their smug certainty and their willingness to rob people of pleasure in the name of their concept of safety and reasonableness makes my blood boil. Tom and Ray, I really mean this -- stay away from me!

September 27, 2003